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April, 2010 |

Archives for April 2010

Attracting Positive People Into Your Life

According to the law of attraction, we’re always transmitting positive or negative energy. Others detect this and respond likewise.

When you attract like-minded positive people, together you can focus on obtaining your desires. Positive individuals will encourage and give you support. On the other hand, negative people will tell you that you can’t achieve your goals, and that they’re too difficult or unreachable.

If you’re continually bombarded with negative phrases in your thinking, such as “I just can’t make ends meet,” “There’s never enough,” or “I just can’t seem to get ahead,” then you’re attracting more negativity into your life.

The universe will always respond to your song, so make your song harmonious with your desires, not your frustrations!

If you find yourself focusing on your small paycheck, physical ailments or unfulfilling relationships, it’s time to make a change. Maybe your parents were role models of criticism instead of encouragement, or maybe you’ve always surrounded yourself with negative friends.

Whatever the reason, it’s time to break this particular cycle of negativity. Consider raising your standard of expectations. Find people to associate with who emit positive energy.

When seeking other positive people, consider people you admire and identify their traits that you especially enjoy. You’ll be generally attracted to people who have a similar sense of humor or who hold the same set of values.

Here are some ways to attract positive people and create more positive energy in your life:

1. Seek out positive qualities in other people. It’s far easier to view someone’s faults before seeing their goodness. Challenge yourself to look only for a person’s good qualities.

2. Keep in mind your own finest qualities and project these qualities to the world. This leads you to self-awareness and increases your self-esteem.

3. Exercise compassion toward everyone, including yourself. Negative energy obsesses about unattainable goals. However, positive energy allows us to realize when we’re doing the best we can.

4. Value others’ opinions. Positive energy is open-minded. Pay attention to all points of view and do your best to understand them, regardless of how different from your own they are.

Trying to change someone’s mind is usually useless; so, even if you’re right, save your energy, understand their opinion, and move on.

5. Refrain from judging. Give others the benefit of the doubt. Negative energy is significant in judging others and loves finding fault. Judging produces negative energy and attracts more of the same back to you.

6. Be honest. Express your true self in thoughts, words, and actions.

7. Don’t be afraid to admit to having occasional negative thoughts and emotions. We’re all human, and negative thoughts are a part of human nature. The important thing is not to obsess on them.

8. Celebrate the success and happiness of others. Negative energy is jealous, but positive people are thrilled when others succeed. Use someone else’s success as a motivator to cause you to be a better person.

9. Balance pleasure and serving others. If you spend your life trying to please others, you may find yourself ignoring your own needs. Positive energy is balanced.

10. Persevere in spite of fear or defeat. We all experience defeat and disappointment! Rather than bemoaning a setback, use it as an opportunity to learn new things and prepare for your next challenge.

11. Follow your dreams and desires. Embrace your joy every step of the way as you achieve your goals.

People with positive energy approach the world with an open heart and a sense of humor. They refuse to be colored by cynicism and bitterness. They strive to see the best in the world around them, revel in the success of others, and diligently pursue their own goals.

Becoming a positive person today will help you attract more positive people into your life tomorrow. The more positive people that surround you, the more you’ll feel joy, contentment, and fulfillment in your own life!

How to Grow a Backbone

Do you feel as if everyone is taking advantage of your good nature? Do you think they would still do it if you were more assertive?

Becoming more assertive is a goal that many of us want to achieve. We feel disrespected and we want to be able to stand our ground without guilt or fear. Developing a backbone is not an easy task, but it can be accomplished if you’re committed to it.

Here are some simple tips that will enable you to strengthen your assertiveness as quickly as possible:

1. Stop apologizing. Many of us use the term “I’m sorry” far too frequently and often at inappropriate times. Think about when you use those two simple words. Is it in a situation that you truly should be sorry for?

  • Once you’re able to stop apologizing for every little thing, you’ll become more assertive. Learn to differentiate between when there’s a need to apologize and when there isn’t. For example:

              ~  Hitting someone’s cart in a grocery store because you  weren’t looking warrants an apology.                 

              ~  Drinking the last cup of orange juice before your partner is not a situation that warrants an “I’m sorry.”

               ~  If you’re watching television and your child prefers to sit in the chair you’re sitting in, “I’m sorry” isn’t appropriate.

2. Speak up. Tell those around you what you need. Assertiveness requires good communication skills. Be clear and firm with what you desire. Practice standing up for yourself by conveying your wants and desires to others.

  • There’s no need to be aggressive or nasty. Simply communicate that you have thoughts, opinions and needs, too. Once you begin to express these better, the people around you will learn how to appreciate and respect you more, too.
  • If you want to develop a backbone, this isn’t the time to be a mouse and stand in the corner. Voice your opinion and be proud of what you have to say; people will take notice and listen.

3. Be committed and patient. It’s wonderful that you’ve decided to make positive changes in your life. It’s something that you should be proud of! Unfortunately though, a complete transformation won’t occur overnight. You’ve entered into a journey, and you must be willing to stick it out!

  • You’ll experience good and bad days, but you mustn’t give up. As long as you remain committed and patient, you’ll succeed in what you’re trying to accomplish.
  • Focus on the big picture down the road and imagine how much your life will improve once you’re able to stand up for yourself.

4. Work on your body language. Body language is extremely important in any situation. When trying to become more assertive, your body language must reflect this as well.

  • Stand straight, speak up, make sure your hands aren’t crossed over your chest, and maintain eye contact with whomever you’re speaking with.
  • If you look assertive, people will perceive you as such. If you keep your eyes on the floor, have your hands across your chest, or mumble incoherently, you’ll have trouble to get your point across.

Assertiveness can help you in your personal life, career, family, and many other areas. Though it may take a bit of time, as long as you make positive steps to grow your new backbone, it will be there before you know it!

How to Demand the Respect from Others

Do you ever get the feeling that your first name should be Doormat? Do you feel as if people take advantage of you on a daily basis? Have you been allowing this to happen?

If you responded yes to one or all of these important questions, it’s obvious that you don’t have the respect of others, but that’s why you’re here to learn!

Respect is something you earn. However, no one deserves to be taken advantage of. Fortunately, it’s possible to change how others treat you!

Implement these simple suggestions and you’ll receive the respect you deserve in no time:

1. Live by the Golden Rule. Most of us are aware of the Golden Rule. “Do unto others as you would want done to you” is a wonderful philosophy when attempting to garner respect. Always treat others as you expect to be treated. People will tend to reciprocate and treat you the same way. If they don’t, then you can ease your way out of the relationship over time, if possible.

2. Place yourself first. An example of this is telling your friend that you cannot watch his dog so he can go away for the weekend because you’re busy with your own personal appointments and schedule.

You have to make yourself a priority. If people see that you respect yourself, then you’ll inevitably be respected, too.

3. Use strong body language. When speaking in person with others, portray the fact that you’re strong and important. Stand straight, look people in the eye, and speak forcefully but not overwhelmingly so.

  • If your body language shouts, “I am important and I respect myself,” you’ll undoubtedly gain the respect of others.
  • Those people who stare at the floor when speaking, avoid eye contact, and whisper their words are telling others that they don’t believe they deserve respect and attention. Always remember to stand tall and proud; you’re important and you deserve to be recognized!

4. Speak positively. In addition to having strong body language, the words you use to express yourself are also extremely important when trying to earn the respect of others. Learn to speak positively and authoritatively. Don’t be boastful, but don’t demean or belittle yourself either.

Leave the impression that you’re intelligent, well spoken and confident. If you portray yourself in this manner others will treat you the same way.

5. Surround yourself with the right people. Let’s face it: there are people in this world who are disrespectful to everyone and everything. No matter what you do to command respect, nothing may work!

You might need to take some time and rethink those you’re hanging out with. They may not be the kind of people who have your best interests at heart.

6. Stand up for yourself. If people are disrespectful to you, how do you respond? Do you say something to the offending person or do you just go on with life? People treat us in the way we allow ourselves to be treated.

If you confront the individual and voice your opinion and unhappiness, chances are good that person won’t treat you that same way in the future. It’s not about being confrontational, but a simple “I don’t appreciate how you’re speaking to me” can go a long way.

We all have a desire and need to be respected. By making some small changes, you’ll be able to open yourself to receiving the respect of others, while learning how to also express your respect. Use these techniques in all interactions every day to gain the respect you deserve.

Stop Settling and Start Sizzling

So, it looks like you’re stuck in a rut. Are you bored with your life and the same old routine day after day? Of course you can’t be happy like this!

There’s an exciting world out there with a lot to offer. Deep down you know you want to get out and take a big bite of it. Sure, it may be a bit overwhelming, and even scary at times, but you can’t let your life just pass you by.

It’s time to live those dreams, take a leap of faith, and get out of your comfort zone! But how do you get started?

Continue reading for some valuable tips and suggestions to help you be all you can be, now and always:

1. Decide what you want to do. Put your fears aside and step outside of your comfort zone. If you could do anything without fear, money, or time being an issue, what would you choose?

  • Make a list of everything you would like to accomplish someday. It doesn’t matter how crazy or outrageous you may think it is, just write it down.
  • It also doesn’t matter if your list has three or thirty-three things listed. Just search your heart and your mind and write down what you would really like to do.

2. Faith. It’s important to have faith to see your journey right up until the end, yet this may be one of the hardest qualities to develop. Remember how it feels to be stuck where you are with no excitement and no real purpose. You know things can be better than they are now, but how?

  • All you need to do is believe in yourself. You know that countless people before you have lived their dreams, so why not you? What makes them so different?
  • There really is no difference between you and others, except for the belief in the possibility for great success. You can be just like they are; you just have to believe you can do it!

3. Don’t keep it a secret. If you’re ashamed of how you’re feeling, you shouldn’t be. Many people find themselves in the same predicament. The only thing that should embarrass you is if you intentionally decide to stay in that rut! Do yourself a big favor and open up to someone you trust.

  • Whether that’s a parent, spouse, or best friend, tell them that you’re ready to make a change in your life and they’ll be able support you throughout your journey. They’ll encourage you on the good days and cry with you on the bad days.
  • Most importantly, they’ll be there to support you throughout it all. It’s just what you need to achieve great success!

4. Take the first step. It’s time to take a leap of faith. As much as you want to step outside the box and get out of this rut, nothing will happen without taking that first big step.

  • No matter how anxious you may be, you should focus on the big picture and the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Muster up all the encouragement and support you can find and just do it. Once the first step is accomplished, it gets easier!
  • You deserve to be the best that you can possibly be, and deep down inside you know this. You’ll be so glad you took action – and you’ll be so proud of yourself when you celebrate at the finish line!

No one enjoys being in a rut and just going through the motions of life. Don’t let your fears hold you back. After all, this is a wonderful world that you deserve to enjoy to the fullest!

Go out and experience everything life has to offer. Take a leap of faith and you’ll never look back again!

Solutions for Overcoming Addiction

When you think of the word addiction, the first thing that comes to your mind may be alcohol or drugs. However, there are many other types of addictions you may experience, including addictions to sex, food, cigarettes, shopping, gambling and many other things.

These addictions seem to have a power of their own. They can control your thoughts, actions, and your very life, if you let them.

If you think you might be suffering from an addiction, it’s great to know that there are techniques you can use every day to help you overcome them and take control of your life.

Here are some helpful solutions:

1. Have faith. In order to overcome addiction, the first thing you need is faith. Faith has been described as the “hope of things unseen.” This means you should have hope for tomorrow, recovery, and success.

  • Hope can bring you through challenging times and allow you to see that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
  • Believe in a greater power. Having faith can also mean believing in something bigger than you. If you have nothing to believe in, it may prove quite difficult to win the battle over your addiction.
  • It’s never too late to reconnect with your faith and spirituality.

2. Develop a courageous attitude. Courage will help you face your addiction and see  it through, regardless of what that addiction is. Your sense of courage is stronger than you probably know! Look deep within yourself to find it and bring it out.

3. Draw on your inner strength. Like courage, we all have an inner strength that makes us stronger than we realize. When you draw on your inner strength you have greater power to face challenges and overcome them.

4. Be patient and persevere. Patience and perseverance will help carry you through the long journey to recovery. It takes time to overcome an addiction, but it can be done.

  • Take things one day at a time and fully trust that things will get better.
  • Keep your end goal in mind and persist in your efforts to get there.
  • If you can’t take it one day at a time, then begin with one hour at a time. Hours will become days, days will become weeks, and before you know it, you’re cured of the addiction that plagued you.

5. Request help and support. Support from your friends, family members, neighbors, clergy, coworkers, social groups, or any other type of support system is crucial to your recovery.

  • There are likely many support groups – both online and in-person – that focus on your particular addiction. Seek out this type of support group. You’ll find specialists in overcoming your specific addiction, as well as those who’ve also experienced your pain.
  • Don’t forget to support yourself! Give yourself rewards at different milestones of your recovery.

In order to succeed at your endeavors, it’s important to understand that you do have an addiction. Once you’ve accepted this, you’ll be ready to take the necessary steps to achieve power over your addiction and take back your life.

Yes, overcoming an addiction is a challenging task. In spite of this, when you use these solutions to help you each day, success can be yours!

Thinking Your Way to Success

Do you often envision yourself achieving great things, and then follow this up with a negative thought process? Do you talk yourself out of your dreams before you even begin to pursue them? If so, you need to change the way you think.

When you change your thought processes to success thinking you truly can change your life. Positive thoughts enable you to reach out and grasp the success you seek.

Affirmations and You

Wanting to succeed and being able to envision your success is a great place to start. When you can do this, you’re giving yourself permission to change your life, attain your goals, and be a success.

There will be days when it’s more difficult to think in positive and success affirming ways; however, during these times you can turn to a useful tool called affirmations.

Affirmations have helped a lot of people turn their negative thinking into positive thinking, while propelling them toward their goals in new and exciting ways. Affirmations for success can help you change the way you think about everything.

If you’re honest with yourself, you may find that much of your inner dialogue, how you feel about yourself, and even the way you carry yourself are negative. This destructive thinking sets you up to fail or causes you to give up before you ever really get started.

As with anything new, creating a success mindset will require practice to give you the best results. The good news is: you can get all the practice you need with the help of success affirmations.

What Are Affirmations?

Affirmations are positive statements that activate your mind to change your life, one thought at a time. They enable you to accomplish the things you wish to achieve.

Affirmations work because each word we speak has power, the power to evoke emotions. They work because they allow you to program – or reprogram – your thought processes, replacing negative thoughts with positive ones.

For instance, if you find that you’re telling yourself what you can’t do, you can replace these negative thoughts with an affirmation for success, such as, “I am capable of succeeding without feeling overwhelmed or unfulfilled.”

If that statement doesn’t quite fit you, there are many affirmations for success, such as “I am worthy of great success.” All you need to do is want to feel this way, and then every time you say these statements aloud you reaffirm them to your subconscious.

Is It Really This Easy?

Many of the most successful people in the world aren’t much different than you. The key characteristic that sets them apart, though, is that they have a success mindset.

It seems too simple to be true, but when you talk to people who’ve experienced success, you’ll find that they use statements like these to drive them toward their goals and away from negativity. Their inner dialogue is one of success and achievement.

If success came naturally to all of us, we would all be successful. Unfortunately, in this day and time, many people prefer to focus on the negative, rather than embrace success.

With affirmations, you can overcome your limiting, negative thoughts and make it second nature for you to choose success. Success can be a reality for you, so long as you believe and reaffirm your positive thoughts consistently.

Top 7 Ways to Boost Your Self-Esteem

Everyone needs to feel a sense of self-worth and healthy self-esteem in order to live a successful, content life. While some people look to others and their material success to gauge their own self-worth, the most important assessment is how you feel about yourself.

There are many things you can do to boost your own self-esteem. By taking the steps to build your own self-worth and well-being, you’re practicing the best form of preventative medicine possible.

Here are the top seven ways to boost your self-esteem:

1. Do things you love. The more time you spend doing things you love to do, the better it makes you feel. Doing the things you enjoy causes your brain to produce higher levels of endorphins, which are chemicals in the brain that increase your sense of joy and well-being.

Engaging in activities we love also helps us recall other times we’ve done them, and those memories increase our self-esteem. Our favorite activities are often things we do well, which is a factor in increasing our self-esteem.

2. Strengthen your strengths. When you exercise your strengths, they become stronger and your self-esteem rises as well. We all like to feel proud of the things we excel at and those things cause us to feel better about ourselves.

Spend time working on, building, and renewing your strengths, and your inner approval rating will soar.

3. Surround yourself with positive people. Positive energy is like an electrical charge as it spreads from one person to the next. When you spend time in the company of positive people, your own attitude will lift to match theirs, and you’ll be charged from their energy.

4. Determine your worth based on yourself, not on others. Everyone sees the world based on his or her own biases and circumstances. When someone pours negative thoughts on another person, it’s a greater reflection on their own deficiencies than the person they’re attacking.

Basing your self-esteem on another person’s opinions is never a good idea. Instead, take your value from what you know to be the truth about yourself from the inside out, not the other way around.

5. Believe in yourself. Trust in your ability to achieve whatever you set your mind to accomplish. When you believe that you’re capable of attaining your goals, you unleash the ability to do so from deep within you, so trust in the process.

6. Focus your thoughts on the things you want to attract. Albert Einstein determined all things are made of energy and energy attracts more of the same energy. Focusing your thoughts on the things you desire in your life keeps the energy of those things moving toward you.

7. Speak affirming thoughts to yourself. We’ve all heard the phrase “act as if.” Affirmations work on that principle. Instead of saying, “I want to be happy,” say, “I am a happy person.” Say it out loud everyday.

You’ll begin to reprogram your subconscious mind to believe it as the truth, and soon you’ll be feeling that truth every day.

These simple steps to boost your self-esteem are easy to put into practice in your day-to-day life. Start today and build your self-worth and self-esteem into the foundation of your character. Your life will never be the same.

GLBT National Help Center

GLBT National Help Center – The Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender National Hotline provides free and confidential telephone and email peer-counseling, as well as factual information and local resources for cities and towns across the United States.

Learn more here:  http://www.glnh.org/index2.html

The Men Event

The Men Event – Is the main event site for gay men in New York City. Find out about parties, events, services, theatre and so much more.

Learn more here: http://themenevent.com

The Center

The Center –  A New York Local Community Center Located at:  208 W. 13th Street in NYC

  • Cultural Programs
  • Theater and Film
  • Music and Dance
  • Book, Authors and Discussions
  • Social and Recreation
  • Community Involvement

Learn more here:  http://www.gaycenter.org/