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Dating Survival Tips for Gay Men |

Dating Survival Tips for Gay Men

“I don’t think there’s enough passion between us”, “I don’t think we are a complete match”, “I’m not feeling a click”, “I don’t think there’s enough chemistry on my side”, “We’re not sexually compatible”, “I’m not ready for a relationship”, “It’s not you; it’s me”, “I’d like for us to remain friends”.

Oh…the perils of dating! We’ve all been on the giving or receiving end of these statements and it never feels good either way. Sometimes nothing is ever said, and the situation just fades away causing us even more confusion. Dating can be very difficult, especially in the online environments we often find ourselves.

So how do we take care of our personal well-being in dating situations?

Here are some dating survival tips to consider:

1). Date for dating’s sake – Get rid of the expectation of finding “the
one” and just date. Meet people with the intention of getting to know them and
learning about who they are. Avoid getting emotionally caught up too soon. Release
the pressure and expectation that this might be “the one” for the long-term.

2). Actions don’t necessarily speak louder than words – We’ve all been
told that “actions speak louder than words” but this isn’t always so. Be wary
of interpreting someone’s actions as meaning that they are into you or that
they actually want a relationship with you. Some guys may say sweet things, buy
you flowers or gifts, treat you to dinner, introduce you to their friends and
family or initiate sex as a part of their own dating rituals. These actions may
hold no specific meaning to you whatsoever.

3). Have fun – Enjoy the process of dating. Put your best self forward
and have fun. You cannot control another person’s thoughts, feelings or
behaviors. You also can’t control the outcome of the experience. You can allow
yourself to have fun! Be lighthearted about it all – stay in the moment, enjoy
your dates and let go of your attachment to the outcome.

4). Stay focused on your life – Make time to plan activities apart from
dating. Remember that dating is only one aspect of your life. Do other things
that bring you pleasure and balance your dating life with other important life
areas – having a rich full life makes you a very attractive person overall.

5). Learn how to handle rejection – It’s never easy to be let down but don’t
personalize the rejection. Recognize that everyone has their own psychological
issues and relationship histories that they bring into dating situations. If
someone tells you they don’t want to go forward don’t make it about you. There
can be any number of reasons that caused them to back out, and they probably
have absolutely nothing to do with you. If you need to, you can talk about the
experience with a friend, therapist or coach to help you to quickly move on.

6). Focus on your well-being – Take care of yourself every day by asking
What can I do to take care of myself today?  Perhaps it’s exercising,
meditating, or going out with friends or family. Do whatever is meaningful to
you. Make a commitment to yourself to do something each day that makes you feel
good.

Finally, always remember what my grandmother used to say:

“Men are like buses, there is always another one coming”!

 

 

 

Comments

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  6. Rudolf Petch says:

    This frequently is amazing to me exactly how Web owners such as yourself can find some time plus the dedication to carry on composing superb content on your blog Life Solutions for Gay Men. I was more than pleased with the blog post Dating Survival Tips for Gay Men. I simply want to thank you and also congratulations! Best wishes, Rudolf

  7. Im going through this right now. I was dating a younger guy who I thought was into me. In the beginning it seemed like he was the one persuing me. He even planned a future for us together. I wanted to be real sure of my feelings before I even contemplated any of his suggestions. Fast forward and now that I do know that I love him, he seems to be the one distancing himself from me. Your article hit the nail right on the head when you say that sometimes things are never even said. I no longer harbor anymore fantasies of us being together. I just wish we could talk so I could have some clousure and then finally the moving on process.

  8. Thanks for sharing your experience. It’s definitely difficult to go through this, and so frustrating to wonder what happened. Many guys say they want a relationship, however, when the opportunity arises, they go into freak out mode, and can’t follow through. Many guys do not know how to function in a relationship, even though deep down they may truly want one. We can make ourselves crazy trying to figure out all the reasons why, but we may never really know. Unfortunately, this is the hard part of dating and it’s never easy. The best thing to do is to put the focus back on yourself and your life. Take care of your emotions and well-being and move forward. Don’t ever allow negative experiences to stop you from pursuing your dreams. The right guy is out there and he’s searching for you too.

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